Hey, remember my very first MOREC? Back in mid '09, I did a review quickie for Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and the very next day got that email from some kid who apparently read the alternate reality version where I never even played it? And then nothing happened after that? Well, yesterday I finally received a response from that guy (who for some reason took the "by" off his first name) in the form of four emails, sent a few minutes apart, then two that were sent off today:

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 19 2011, 5:52 pm

Subject: Brawl Review, Part 2

To each his own. *continues playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl despite you saying I should sell it, along with all of my hard-earned video games*

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 19 2011, 5:57 pm

Subject: CK.com

To each his own. *continues playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl and whatever games I like, despite you saying I should just sell them for whatever shit you like that I find boring as hell*

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 19 2011, 5:58 pm

Subject: CK.com

I mean, honestly, you are nearly impossible to please, you know that? I happen to LIKE Pokémon White, and have an incredibly powerful, all-around balanced team. I swear, if my Hydreigon was real, he'd tear you limb from limb for bashing one of the most successful releases so far.

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 19 2011, 6:05 pm

Subject: CK.com

Also, get this: YOU ARE NOT PERFECT. No one, not even I, know everything about anything. Only God knows everything. Got that?

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 20 2011, 10:30 am

Subject: CK.com

I'm sorry, I'm too busy having fun with my games to listen to your shitfaced opinions.

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 20 2011, 10:32 am

Subject: CK.com

I mean, honestly, were your parents drunk and abusive to you? Is that why you're taking your anger out on everyone who loves what you hate?

Dude, seriously? Two and a half years, and this is the best you can do? I'm not sure why I'm dignifying this with more than a sound clip, an image, and some links, but here goes:

Where the hell did I ever say to sell off all your games (which you bring up twice)? I never responded to this guy through email, and the only thing I ever say about "selling games" is that how many copies a game has sold shouldn't factor into whether or not I or anyone else should play or like it. But then again, this is the guy who read a short review I did of a game, and somehow came to the conclusion I refused to play it.

Also, the only time I've ever talked about Pokemon Black and White was tearing into the creature designs before the games were even released. I've never talked about the actual games (so I will right now: I beat the first gym on White, then never touched the game again), so where did this threat of bodily harm come from?

Mr. Jindra, I really hope you're just a little kid, because otherwise you're leading me to believe you have some serious mental problems or are that guy from Kotaku. Maybe you're just a really incompetent troll, but the point is, maybe the reason you find games like Lemmings, Contra: Hard Corps, and MDK2 boring is because you're too stupid to figure out how to play and beat them. I mean, it's been nearly three years, and your reading comprehension hasn't improved one shred; you're still reading things that don't exist, and you brought up that "successful = must play" bullshit I debunked last time. Oh, and here's another Site Tracking Adventure that I feel is relevant, particularly point #6.

I also love how you say you're too busy having fun with your games to listen to my "shitfaced opinions" (hey, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think opinions can get drunk), yet you're not too busy having fun with them to keep sending me these emails. I still don't have a comedy sketch planned out, so I'll just have to leave off with this:

From: Bob Jindra

Date: Nov 23 2011, 11:30 pm

Subject: CK.com

Oh, and get this: the reason it took me 3 years to respond to your nasty little rant over Brawl was because I simply forgot about your shitfaced website, I've been busy ENJOYING my games instead of bashing them endlessly like a dick. I happened to stumble upon your site while trying to find some more Donkey Kong 64 MP3's from that Flying Omelette guy.

Jesus fucking Christ, is there ANYTHING you and I both enjoy that we could agree on?!

Um, you responded to my "nastly little rant over Brawl" the day after I posted it. I also like how you answered a question I never asked, but failed to answer the questions I did ask, like when I ever said to sell all your games. But this shouldn't surprise me given you've time and again proven your myserious ability to read things that don't exist and complete inability to read things that do exist like how you missed the link to Kotaku Site Tracking Adventure where Flying Omelette calls somebody out for calling her a man, or read it and called her a "guy" anyway. And what were you downloading exactly, the DK Rap?

Mr. Jindra, you're not doing yourself or your fellow Brawlers and Nintendo fanboys any favors here. You swear like you just realized your mom isn't going to read it and you keep using words you don't understand (since my previous hint might have been too subtle for you, I'll come right out and say it; "shitfaced" means obscenely drunk. Opinions and website cannot get drunk, much less obscenely so. And since I myself don't drink, you can't even say you mean my opinions and website are made while I'm intoxicated). You seriously threatened to sic a fictitious monster on me. As I pointed out before and you no doubt failed to read before, you keep saying you're having too much fun with your games to read my site when not only do you keep coming back, but you're clearly not too busy having fun with them to keep banging out these emails and sending them to me. You assume that just because we disagree on one thing we disagree on everything. And then I bet you wonder why gamers think Smash Bros. and the Wii are for whiny shits, and non-gamers listen to Jack Thompson. Here's something I think we can both agree on; you can stop wasting both our time with these emails.