And today I get even more blatant about ripping off FO's Site Tracking Adventures. To make up for my lack of character commentary, I'm giving you three adventures in one. Also, if you're reading this on 800 x 600 resolution, you may want to bump it up a notch because the message boards I took the pictures from force you to scroll on anything less than 1024 x 768.
To start us off, I found this as a failed referrer when somebody tried to hotlink my picture of Mama Robotnik. But that's not what I'm here to rag on, it's everything else in that topic.
Well, no shit gills don't play games, they're attached to fish, which live underwater where it's generally a bad idea to have stuff with electricity flowing through it. Or are you saying guys named Gil don't play games?
Okay, seriously, I know that was supposed to be "girls", and I know a few people plus myself who'd like to have a word with you. Oh, but look at your custom title. Go to hell, you chauvinistic fuck.
Now, out of curiosity I found the guy who hotlinked the picture. Well, hello!
Hot damn, so not only do females not play games, they're not even featured in them! In fact, the only two female villains don't even count because they're computers! Maybe some of the other members can set this guy straight? Of course not, they're posting at IGN, so here's the best everyone else could do:
Wow, a whopping four answers, although I'll give the guy with the Jason Alexander avatar credit that I had to look up what games General Petrine and Jeane/Sylvia were from (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and No More Heroes, respectively). Let's see what I can come up with by myself for games with major female villains and final bosses, minus those four, in no particular order...
Dark Queen (Battletoads)
Metroid Queen (Metroid 2)
Novia and Alorna (Albert Odyssey: Legend of Eldean)
Edea, Adel, and Ultimecia (Final Fantasy 8)
Empress Rimsala (Arcana)
Queen Zeal (Chrono Trigger)
Franziska (Phoenix Wright: Justice for All)
Erim (Lufia series)
Ihadulca (Evil Zone)
Medusa (Kid Icarus)
SHODAN (System Shock)
Lady Mamiya (Sweet Home)
Dark Cloud (Final Fantasy 3)
Queen Slug-for-a-Butt (Earthworm Jim)
Xel'lotath (Eternal Darkness)
Alien Queen (Contra 3)
The final boss of The Krion Conquest
Morgana (King Arthur and the Knights of Justice)
Captain Syrup (Wario Land)
Cackletta (Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga)
Princess Shroob (Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time)
Mother Brain (Phantasy Star II)
Terrormisu (Wario: Master of Disguise)
Rilix (Shining the Holy Ark)
Golden Diva (Wario Land 4)
Captain Rose (Zack & Wiki)
Zz Badnusty (Gaiares)
Restiana (El Viento)
Psycho Mother (Elemental Gimmick Gear)
Altima (Final Fantasy Tactics)
Maia (Jak & Daxter)
Hecate (Night Creatures)
Bammy (Ys IV: Dawn of Ys)
Vortex Queen (Ecco the Dolphin)
And I'm pretty sure the major baddy Gears of War is female.
SHODAN, Psycho Mother, and the Phantasy Star II Mother Brain might be in the same boat as GlaDOS and the Metroid Mother Brain for being computers, and I don't expect everybody to know who Zz Badnusty and Hecate are, but come on. And you'd think this being a Sonic forum, somebody would have said Rouge (although evidence leads me to believe she's to Sonic what Captain Qwark is to Ratchet and Clank), but I guess some people mentioned Sonic and the Black Knight in broken code that's easy to overlook.
Revision from CK: It recently came to my attention that the "Shadow Queen" is the name of the final boss of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. I thought Jason Alexander was talking about the queen from ICO. So whichever one he's talking about, add the other to the list.
I'm not even going to touch that guy's comment on why female villains can't be ugly.
Because if you're stupid and they find out, mean-spirited Internet smartasses are going to share it with their readers?
Next, somebody at GameFAQs linked to my Suito Homu article in a topic about a Top 10 list about Japan-only RPGs. I shouldn't be expecting much from GameFAQers, but:
Look, there's three reasons I called that article "Suito Homu" instead of "Sweet Home" and "willful obstinance" is not one of them. The first was because I didn't want to call the article something as generic as "The Sweet Home Movie." The second was just to differentiate it from the game. The third, and actually most important reason, was so that if somebody wanted to find it on a search engine, they'd have an alternative to digging through pages upon pages of Sweet Home Alabama results.
Then later on he admits:
Maybe if this guy had lurked around the site a bit before kneejerking and seen that I don't call Meta Fight "Meta Faito" or Radiant Silvergun "Reidianto Shirubaagan", and even refer to the Sweet Home game as "Sweet Home" he would have figured out for himself that there was probably another reason besides "willful obstinance" for why I chose that name for the article. Also, somehow it wouldn't surprise me if this guy says "Aeirth" but I don't feel like digging through more of his posts.
Also, this post...
... made my day. So yes, a list like:
The Top Ten Best Games Ever:
10. Yoshi's Story
9. Mystery Quest
8. Atari Pac-Man
6. Yoshi's Story
5. Ikari Warriors
4. Alex Kidd in Miracle World
3. Yoshi's Story
2. Yoshi's Story
1. YOSHI'S STORY!!!
Goes from terrible to great just by changing the title to "Ten Great Games".
My last entry isn't stupid or face-palming, just weird. A message from YouTube informed me that somebody made a video response to my video of the rail shooter boss in Blasting Again. His response is...
...his own video of him fighting the boss. That includes some unnecessary filler at the beginning (yeah, I probably could have cut out the "WARNING" screen myself, but I left it in because that's where the music starts), isn't played on Hard or as SOPHIA the 3rd, and he doesn't even fight it any better; he takes more damage, it takes him nearly twice as long to kill it mainly because for some reason he flies around the boss when it closes in on him when he *should* have picked up from my video that the center of the boss doesn't damage you when it's spinning like that and in fact is a golden opportunity to do some serious damage to it, and somebody should inform him that the Blaster is the only secondary weapon worth a damn (you might argue he only switched to the others when he ran out of Blaster, but he should have been putting more of his weapon stocks into it, the Lightning and Homing barely work on that boss, and the Shield is never useful so why the hell does he actually try to use it at one point?).
But my main question is, what was there to really respond to in my video? I didn't include "Stupidity" in the title so this can't be a "Fuck you, this boss is awesome!" kind of response (a point that would have required more than simply recreating my video to make). Maybe it has to do with the banging in my video, which his video lacks and I came to the conclusion ages ago has to do with how close I am to the boss as it goes down.
Although this event made me realize I forgot to put a link to my Blasting Again Stupidity article in the info box for context. Actually, I had to have uploaded that video before I posted the article, and forgot to go back and add the link. So when I went to edit in that info, I noticed...
... YouTube thinks a video game boss fight with a human-alien teenager flying a tank down a tunnel of lava is related to a Janet Jackson song. Either that's the greatest song ever, or YouTube's suggestions are screwed up. Good night, everyone.