"Yeah, this Survivor show sucks. Let's see what else is on."

Makes absolutely no sense, but yeah, I guess it's pretty.

Sneak attack!

Almost there...

*twig snap*

"Emi, you are so not Solid Snake, so don't act like you are."

"Or some more stuff to go break?"

Oh, Kazuo's definitely old. He somehow forgot his daughter was on summer break.

What? You said you came along on your own to play matchmaker with Kazuo and Akiko!

Emi, nobody said anything about the necklace, so why are you acting like Kazuo told you to take it off?

For being a cameraman himself, Taguchi doesn't have much of a grasp on centering.

By the way, as Taguchi runs up to the camera from the painting, the picture on the television zoom in. Who's operating the camera?

"Nevermind that it just magically appeared out of nowhere. It's here!"

"This one too!"

"That makes three that just magically appeared out of thin air! Nothing weird about that!"

Hey, that fresco wasn't in the game.

Though I do wish it was. Rather than having all the frescos look the same (except some dusty), why not have made the more cryptic ones look like some of these?

In the painting, or in real life?

Kazuo spouts random adjectives.

Maybe you need glasses.

You don't need glasses.

"Jedi Mind Trick! Painting, show me the face!"

I didn't ask about the eye, I asked about the face.

Taguchi starts acting sick.

No, Emi, that's not an entire cemetery. But I'm not sure what a Japanese cemetery looks like. Actually, I thought most Japanese were cremated.

Thank you, Kazuo.

One really obnoxious thing about this scene I can't show you is how ridiculously movey everyone is. It's like the director is off stage going "Kazuo, you and Akiko keep passing each other. Emi, whenever you come near somebody, start following them until somebody else comes by you. Taguchi, randomly walk around the room like you're drunk. Asuka? Eh, run in circles."

BUM BUM BUUUUM!

"You thought we were joking, weren't you? Emi, go get the shovels."

"Akiko, it's Asuka. She screams just to piss people off."

"A baby, baby!"

Take note of how young the "baby" in the picture is. I have something to grouch about later.

It might look like Taguchi's rubbing Asuka's back, but what he's more shoving her than rubbing.

And yet MORE ace video taping with the wheelchair in the way. Maybe Taguchi's actor is filming this.

Nighttime.

"Oh, the creme filling part of that donut you're eating is the best! Oh wait, you mean the picture."

Well yeah, you'd expect the baby's death to come after its birth.

What?

Hey, neither's much of this movie.

Maybe he just wanted to spook anybody who trespassed on his property.

Maybe he got married to somebody who somehow became a murderous ghost after she died.

Uh oh, here comes a monster to slaughter our heroes and heroines!

You were just hailing this guy as a genius! Now you're saying it's perfectly logical for him to go insane?

"Don't worry dad. Sure, we found a painting of a burning baby and some demonic eyes, but Slim Jims are better."

"But first, SLIM JIMS!"

"I want some Slim Jims!"

"They're mine!"

Translation: "I'm a complete witch."

Translation: "I don't want to have to share the credit of finding out what happened here."

Translation: "Did I mention I'm a complete witch."

Translation: "THIS IS MINE!"

Translation: "Get bent."

"Personally I wish he'd shoot you, but I guess we can't all have what we want."

"If you still insist it's all yours, take it and shove it up your ass. Let's go, Kaz."

"Let Asuka be an old bitty if she wants."

I before We except after C!

"Actually, I like you reaming the hag. Go on ahead."

Kazuo backs into the table. Somehow I get the feeling that wasn't part of the script.

"DIE, HUMAN MORTAL!"

Oh, it's just Taguchi the Wonder Putz.

"Doesn't this make me look like a heavy metal guitarist?"

More broken English... er, Japanese.

Lookie what I found!

It'd be pretty funny if Kazuo's grip on the axe slipped right about now.

Why are we acting like this?

Yeah, but what fun is that?

Wow, she's so angry she sends the wheelchair slowling rolling across the room.

Because of the horrid picture quality, it looks like Kazuo's flipping off Taguchi. But that's not how the Japanese flip each other off. It's a similar principle, but they use their entire arm.

And to increase your "finger" trivia, over in Britain, "giving somebody the bird" means to fire them, not give them an obscene gesture.

I'm a big boy! I can carry this all by myself!

WooooOOOOPS!

Sadly, it didn't land on Asuka.

By the way, if you found an axe weapon, either of the men could equip it, but the females lacked the testosterone to weild it. The movie Taguchi is a weenie.

Oh, I guess they're not Slim Jims.

"Just for that, you can't have any of my popcorn-like munchies!"

Enough of that word!

Just a minute ago you said she was full of crap. Suddenly she's right just because Taguchi almost whacked your foot off with an axe?

"Wait, does that include that cryptic looking pillar of rocks in the garden?"
"ESPECIALLY the cryptic looking pillar of rocks in the garden. Why?"
"Oh... er... nothing... >_>"

"I know this came from the shed, but I'll put it in this random corner because I'm lazy."

"And that's that! There's no way this could ever hurt somebody now!" [/foreshadow]