Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 w/ RiffTrax Audio

Due to a crammed last quarter of the semester, I didn't have the time for much more than movies, and I was looking for stuff to unwind with after headbutting code. That means a month (two, actually, along with March) of RiffTrax and MST3K features. And as I've said before, they're really hard to write about, so apologies if the following quickies are expendable.

Well, it took two years to get the final chapter, but the RiffTrax Harry Potter saga finally came to a close in an explosion of hilarity.

One thing I "liked" about these movies is how they try to fix problems from the books only to create new ones. Half-Blood Prince tried to fix the problem of Dumbledore needing Slughorn's memory when he already knew Voldemort was using Horcruxes, which in turn created the plot hole of why Dumbledore was searching for Horcruxes if he didn't know about them before. Deathly Hallows 2 cut the tedious, bullshit explaination of how Harry survived Voldemort's death curse in favor of a second tedious, bullshit fight scene.


Birdemic: Shock and Terror w/ RiffTrax Audio

Birdemic is a landmark in cinematic incompetence. I could tell you about the broken sound mixing, the preachy story that acts like it's the only realist in the room while being complete nonsense, the laughable acting, or how the birds look like AngelFire .gifs, but I Hate Everything can fill you in. If the director wasn't doing this shit intentionally, the fact he's a software engineer scares me.

Fortunately, the film's incompetence makes for a glorious RiffTrax experience, with nearly every quip being laugh out loud hilarious. But come on guys, when there's a fat character in the film, you get one Jabba the Hutt joke.


Mystery Science Theater 3000 25th Anniversary Edition

Moon Zero Two plays out like cross between Star Trek and James Bond and is held back by the same problems as all the other first season episode. How many of these fuckings things are there left?

The Day the Earth Froze is a low budget fairy tale reenactment where the Earth doesn't actually freeze until the last ten minutes of the story. The Leech Woman's message seems to be "Men are all pigs and women are all psychotic bitches."

Finally there's Gorgo, a British Godzilla knockoff in which some sailors kidnap a baby dinosaur which is soon pursued by its mother, prompting the military to throw untold billions of dollars in military hardware and human life at it so some circus could keep their attraction. Oh, and nobody seems to realize the baby was going to grow up into an adult that size. Well, I guess that's why the movie wound up on MST3K.


Alien Outlaw w/ RiffTrax Audio

Did you ever find yourself watching Predator and thinking "Boy, this would be so much better if Arnold was a lady who fought with her butt hanging out! And if instead of a squad of commandos, the rest of the cast was a bunch of white trash hicks! And if it was absolute shit"? Then Alien Outlaw is the movie for you, you weirdo!

As for the jokes, well, it's a funny RiffTrax romp through a shitty movie nobody's heard of. I guess that makes it standard RiffTrax fare?